Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Hurt follows her home

Editing on the book continues. The funeral finalizes Kerri Ann's old life but sadness seeps into her new. Feedback from the critique group helped crystallize fine points of the manuscript.
The hurt dredged up in Montana followed me home. I tumbled through emotions I didn’t want to touch, my dad had had my phone number, must have known I was married and never called.


In California Lee’s family didn’t call, not a word—not that they would, I didn’t speak Korean—but not even a card rattled through my hollow heart. I drifted in depression, slept a lot. Lee tried to coax me out, find the old Kerri Ann. “When you’re ready to talk, I want to listen,” he sprinkled through his conversations, but I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to sleep.
(A Single Pearl, Chapter 9).
Icons: plus sign ‘+’ to denote good, minus ‘-’ not, and a ‘?’ for obvious.

Lisa: +hurt dredged up followed me home; +seaweed soup every b-day! -‘nice’ shirt, how did he smell? What music did they dance to? +Pride lake; why is she doing these building maps, why interest to her?

Melanie: why was she so depressed? +box with mom in it; ++ gag-ables; +good picture of two women fighting over picture; ‘Guess who’s pregnant?’ I want to see his response; +interesting about the map; +real estate license.

Pam: +all things mom had touched; -confused about ‘things from my childhood,’ expected it to be a doll, maybe things I remember from my childhood? +Love your ‘gag-ables,’ +Lee is getting better! I’m glad he is ‘struggling to say something, a new side to him. Okay, now I don’t like him again, you’re keeping us on a roller coaster. I really like that she is being pro-active about her education.

Edits: KA makes a map, I re-organized it so she maps the buildings Lee owns first; the mapping thing will pop up again in Part 2 so it needs to flow with character development. I felt ecstatic to hear Pam say she rode on a roller coaster in regards to liking/not liking Lee. He’s not an easy man and less easy to understand. As soon as you think you’ve got him figured out a new aspect of his character emerges. There’ll be more of that.



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